Three Strikes and You’re Out? Our Complicated Relationship With Royal Caribbean

Why this article exists

We've cruised enough now to know that one bad experience doesn't necessarily mean a bad cruise line.

That's probably a good thing, because our relationship with Royal Caribbean has been a little complicated.

We've sailed with Royal Caribbean twice, and both cruises gave us some great memories. But both also ended with experiences we'd probably rather forget. On our first Royal cruise, Hellen became extremely sick. On our second, I was the one who got sick—and then, because apparently that wasn't enough, our cabin toilet overflowed the following morning.

So we're currently sitting at two cruises and two strikes.

Does that mean one more bad Royal Caribbean cruise and they're out?

Probably not.

And that's actually the point of this story.

Strike One: The Cruise That Created Our Buffet Rule

Our first Royal Caribbean cruise was also Ollie's first cruise. He was only about 11 months old.

Unfortunately, it wasn't a particularly good cruise.

There were issues with the ship itself, but the biggest thing we remember happened near the end of the cruise when Hellen became extremely sick.

We believed it was food poisoning from something she ate at the buffet, possibly tomatoes. But there's an important distinction here: we don't actually know what caused it.

When you're on a cruise ship eating different foods all week and visiting different places, it's extremely difficult to point to one specific food and say, That's what did it.

Whatever caused it, Hellen was sick enough that she ended up confined to the cabin.

And that experience changed how we ate on cruises for years.

We developed what became known in our family as Hellen's Rule:

No raw vegetables and no pre-cut fruit from the buffet.

Cooked vegetables? Fine.

A banana or orange we could peel ourselves? Fine.

But salad, sliced tomatoes, pre-cut melon and similar foods sitting on a buffet became an automatic no.

Over the years we've relaxed that rule somewhat. We'll eat salads, raw vegetables and pre-cut fruit in the sit-down dining rooms. We still tend to be more cautious at buffets.

Is our rule scientifically perfect?

Probably not.

But when you've watched your wife spend the end of a vacation horribly sick, you tend to remember it.

That was Strike One.

And then we didn't cruise again for several years.

Giving Royal Caribbean Another Chance

Eventually we returned to cruising, and years later we decided it wasn't fair to judge Royal Caribbean forever based on one old experience.

So for Fall Break, we booked another Royal Caribbean cruise—this time on the West Coast.

It was also a special trip because we were celebrating both Ollie's birthday and mine.

And for most of the cruise?

Things were going really well.

We had a Junior Suite with plenty of room. Ollie was finding cruise ducks everywhere. The crew was great. We enjoyed the main dining room. Puerto Vallarta ended up giving us one of our favorite excursion days of the trip.

Royal Caribbean was redeeming itself.

Then we arrived in Mazatlán.

Strike Two Begins in Mazatlán

I'll start with an important bit of context.

The area had been affected by a hurricane not long before our visit, so I'm willing to give some grace for the condition of the beach and surrounding area.

But even accounting for that, this excursion was not one we'd choose again.

We arrived at the beach and immediately saw red plastic chairs and tables sitting right at the edge of the water.

Not lounge chairs.

Regular plastic chairs.

They wanted $25 each.

There wasn't really anywhere else to put our bags and belongings, so we split the cost with another family. At first we basically used the chairs as expensive luggage racks. Later we sat in them, with the water washing underneath us.

Not exactly the relaxing beach day pictured in my head.

But then came the "open bar."

The Most Questionable Tequila Sunrise I've Ever Had

Hellen went up first.

The included drink was a tequila sunrise. She brought one back and said she could barely taste any alcohol.

We don't drink very often, so I remember thinking:

Wow. These things are going to go down pretty easily.

Then it was my turn.

I walked up to the bar and the bartender had his head down and was groaning. After a moment, he looked up and pointed me toward another guy.

That's when I noticed flies around the bottles behind the bar.

At this point, the warning lights in my head were starting to flash.

I asked for two tequila sunrises.

I watched him make them.

It looked like the glass was about 90% tequila, followed by a splash of orange juice and grenadine.

I remember thinking there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to drink this.

I took it back to Hellen.

"This is going to be strong."

I took a drink.

And somehow…

I could barely taste alcohol.

Okay.

Message received.

We were done with the drinks.

And Then Came Lunch

Lunch wasn't complicated.

Chicken on the bone, rice, refried beans and a quesadilla.

Luckily for us, Ollie is Ollie.

He wanted the quesadilla.

That's it.

So he ate his quesadilla, and I ate some of his chicken.

There were some refried beans touching the chicken. Instead of brushing them off, I just ate everything.

Later that evening, we were sitting at dinner when my stomach started rumbling.

You know the kind of rumble.

The one where your body is politely informing you that the rest of your evening plans have been canceled.

Before long, I was extremely sick.

Based on the timing, I suspected something I'd eaten during the excursion, but again, there's no way for me to know exactly what caused it. It could have been something else entirely.

The irony wasn't lost on us.

Years earlier, Hellen had gotten sick on our first Royal Caribbean cruise.

Now, on our second Royal Caribbean cruise, it was my turn.

But technically, this one wasn't even Royal Caribbean's food.

So maybe Royal still gets a pass.

Except the cruise apparently wasn't finished with me yet.

Then the Toilet Exploded

Around the same time, we'd noticed fans in the hallway drying sections of carpet.

It appeared there had been some kind of plumbing or water issue nearby.

The next morning, I used our cabin bathroom and flushed the toilet.

Nothing.

So I flushed it again.

Still nothing.

Naturally, I tried again.

That was a mistake.

Suddenly the toilet started overflowing.

And it would not stop.

At this point I'm sick, there's water coming out of the toilet, nothing is going down, and I'm frantically trying to figure out how to make it stop.

We called for help.

Our room steward eventually came in and had to deal with the mess.

I felt absolutely terrible for him.

Cruise ship room stewards already work incredibly hard. The last thing I wanted was for ours to have to deal with an overflowing bathroom.

But there I was.

Food poisoning—or whatever had made me sick—and a malfunctioning cruise-ship toilet.

The perfect storm.

Strike Two.

So…Three Strikes and Royal Caribbean Is Out?

Here's the funny part.

Probably not.

It's easy to come home after a bad experience and say:

"We're never cruising with them again."

But the more we've traveled, the less I think that way.

Our second experience really illustrates why.

If I got sick from something I ate during an excursion in Mazatlán, that's not necessarily Royal Caribbean's fault.

The toilet?

Okay, Royal can own that one.

But even mechanical problems don't automatically mean an entire cruise line is bad.

Ships are different.

Some are new. Some are old.

They have different layouts, crews, entertainment, restaurants and maintenance histories. Even two ships from the same cruise line can provide completely different experiences.

And that's something we've learned as we've become more experienced cruisers:

Sometimes you aren't really choosing a cruise line. You're choosing a ship.

And We Haven't Tried the Royal Caribbean Experience I'm Most Curious About

There's another big reason I'm not ready to write Royal Caribbean off.

We've never sailed on one of their giant newer ships.

And I really want to.